Care for some Tuna?
by flechette mango
Summary: Slight LAL27. AU and could be OOC.
1. Tuna with spikes

**So hello there.**

**Some people may be horrified at this pairing, so flame all you want :D**

**It is AU and OOC if you didn't read the summary.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING! But of course, you know that already.**

* * *

"Lal…"

Lal Mirch glimpsed up from her novel. "Yeah, Tunafish?"

"I have something t-to tell you.." Tsuna stammered, blushing furiously.

"What?"

"Uh… I… er…"

"Well, what is it? Spit it out!" Lal snapped. She was right in the middle of an exciting part of her book where the porcupine was about to marry the hedgehog, but an echidna barges through the door at the last moment.

"Uh… well.. um…" Tsuna continued. He averted his eyes to the right, where Yamamoto and Gokudera were nodding at him, smirking.

"Don't stand there gobbling like a fish! What do you want to say?"

"A-are you a p-parking ticket?" he spluttered out.

"Excuse me?" Lal cocked her eyebrow at him. "What did you just call me?"

"Um... A parking ticket… 'Cos… 'Cos you've g-got FINE written all over you!" Tsuna's cheeks flushed a deep red. He'd said it. With all the practice he'd gone through in front of the mirror, he'd finally said it.

Behind him, Yamamoto was rolling on the floor snickering, and Gokudera was trying to stifle a laugh.

Lal narrowed her eyes at the pair looking smug behind Tsuna, and knew something was on.

"Sawada, I have no idea what you just said, but my mind tells me that if _he_," she pointed at Yamamoto, "is about to die laughing, then I should punch you."

_WHAM._

Lal stood up, leaving her book behind on the couch and walked out of the door.

Tsuna, who was knocked to the ground, got up to his feet supporting his bloody nose. "Wait! Lal!" he yelled as he flew out the door behind her.

Yamamoto and Gokudera didn't seem to know what was going on, until Yamamoto said, "Does Lal know what a parking ticket is?"

…

Gokudera walked over to the couch and picked up the brown book Lal was reading. "_Porcupine Love… _What on earth is this trash?"

Yamamoto's face lit up. "_PORCUPINE LOVE? _I love that book! It's about a porcupine that falls in love with a hedgehog and they end up married!

"That's a stupid story." Gokudera remarked.

A voice spoke out from behind them. "But even so, the porcupine has a better love life than Tsuna."

Behind them, Reborn was sitting on the dining table with a grin.

* * *

**Ciao.**


	2. Tuna with beetroot

**HELLO ALL.**

**Second chapter.. might make a third.**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Tsuna Or His Foolishness. Nor Do I Own Katekyo Hitman Reborn.**

**Read on! **

* * *

"Hehehe…"

The sound of this girlish giggle travelled to Tsuna's ears as he passed a room with a closed door.

_Was that Lal Mirch? _Tsuna wondered, blushing at the thought that Lal was very much near him. _No… Lal never giggles like that…_

Opening the door just a fraction, the person revealed to be emitting the sound was… GOKUDERA?

"Hehehe… the hedgehog is about to propose!" he squealed.

"Hem hem," Tsuna cleared his throat.

Once he heard the noise, Gokudera leapt up and tried to explain. "I was just looking at the book that um Lal was reading when you... you know asked her about the parking ticket.." His face flushed sheepishly.

"Right…" Tsuna said, looking at his friend fishily.

"I was just looking… Well anyway, this book has a given me a good idea! About Lal I mean."

"Yeah?"

"The porcupine in this book," Gokudera waved _Porcupine Love_ in Tsuna's face, "says to the hedgehog, '_You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me._'"

"That's horribly cheesy! That's worse than the parking ticket!" Tsuna retaliated.

"Well it worked for the porcupine, so you might as well try it on her."

_I don't think I'm a porcupine _Tsuna thought. "Say I go with this…plan of yours. Won't Lal know I took it from the book?"

"I don't think so. When she left the book on the couch, I saw a dog eared page. It must have been a bookmark for the page that she was up to. This pick up line is several chapters after that, so don't worry."

"I don't know about this, Gokudera… The last one failed miserably. I bet she never wants to see me again. My nose may not survive another punch."

Just at that moment, Yamamoto burst into the room. "HEY HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN – "

His eyes lowered down to the brown book in Gokudera's hands. "Gokudera? Were you reading _Porcupine Love_? AHA! I knew it! You're addicted to it just like me! And you said you would never read 'trash like this'!"

Gokudera's face turned a beetroot red before muttering, "No… I-I was just taking a look.. I wa-"

"Yeah, he was reading it. AND he was giggling about it too." Tsuna said, smirking.

The beetroot red face turned a deep purple. "I WASN'T! I WAS JUST LOOKING!" Gokudera stormed out of the room while Tsuna and Yamamoto chuckled behind him.

After the laughter had died down, Yamamoto asked, "So did he really giggle?"

* * *

**Thankyou for reading if you read till the end!**

**Half a thankyou if you read halfway!**

**And you know what you get if you didn't read it..**

**Bye!**

**Snape Snape Severus Snape DUMBLEDORE.**


	3. Tuna with needles

**Helloooooo there.**

** I felt like doing chapter 3 so here it is.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anythingz ladidah etc. etc.**

**:D**

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December had come, bringing with it the festive season, and Gokudera and Lambo were helping to decorate the tall, forest green Christmas tree standing majestically in the corner of Tsuna's bedroom. It was heavily adorned with sparkly gold and silver tinsel, multicoloured baubles and a few candy canes here and there. Lambo had insisted that he would be the one to put up the golden, glittery star sitting at the peak of the tree.

"Stupid cow! The candy canes are for decoration, not for eating!" Gokudera shouted, snatching the red and white striped sweet from Lambo's hands. "Ah! Lal Mirch is here, Juudaime!" He winked at Tsuna, as Lal slid open the bedroom door and walked in.

"H-Hi Lal!" Tsuna stammered. "Did you come to help decorate the tree?"

"Hm? No, I just came by to discuss something with Reborn. The secret santa thing is tonight isn't it?" Lal Mirch asked. "Are you ok, Tsuna? Your face is all red."

"Huh?! I-I'm fine, haha. Yes, secret santa is tonight. Have you bought your present yet?"

"Of cour-"

"DID YOU BUY _LAMBO-SAN_ A PRESENT?" Lambo interuppted as he looked up at Lal with his big emerald eyes.

"Um..." She walked over to the Christmas tree, pulled off a hanging candy cane and handed it to Lambo. "Here you go." The cow kid eagerly accepted it whilst pulling a face at the angry Gokudera.

"HEY THAT'S FOR OUR TREE, WOMAN!" Gokudera yelled.

"Ahah.. It's fine, Gokudera." Tsuna assured. He turned to face Lal. "Well then, I'll see you tonight!"

"Yeah. Bye, Tsuna, Lambo." She walked out of the room with a wave of her hand.

"YOU DIDN'T SAY BYE TO ME!"

"Gokudera..." Tsuna said, shaking his head.

* * *

It was almost time for the people participating in secret santa to arrive, and Gokudera was lying on Tsuna's bedroom floor, staring at the Christmas tree while waiting for the first doorbell to ring. He suddenly jumped up.

"Juudaime!"

"Huh? What happened?"

"I just thought of the most brilliant thing!"

"What?"

"When Lal was here before, you should have said to her, 'Shouldn't _you_ be sitting on top of the tree, angel?'" He looked at Tsuna as if he thought he had just come up with the most clever, witty sentence.

And with that, Tsuna facepalmed, cheeks reddening at an alarming pace.

* * *

It was 8 o'clock and everyone was itching to receive their presents from their secret santa. Tsuna, Gokudera, Lambo, Yamamoto, Reborn, Lal, Squalo and Hibari (who only came because he owed Reborn) sat in a circle in Tsuna's room (Hibari sat a bit further from the rest), with the newly decorated Christmas tree shining beautifully in the corner. All the presents, big and small, were piled in the centre of the circle, waiting to be unwrapped and marveled at.

"Thank you for participating in our annual secret santa gift event," Reborn said, addressing everyone. "Especially Hibari."

"Hn," came the answer from said person, averting his eyes away from everyone else. Even though he did not show it, he was really excited to see the look on his gift receiver's face when they pulled open his present.

"Gokudera, you're first. Go find your present in the pile," Reborn continued.

"Huh? Why me?"

"Because you're Tsuna's right hand man."

"Fine." Gokudera rummaged through the stack until he found a neatly wrapped rectangular present with the word 'Gokudera' written on it.

_I hope it's not what I think it is... _He thought as he slowly peeled the wrapping away.

"VOI! HURRY UP!" Squalo's booming voice sounded.

"Shut up!" Gokudera shouted back. He kept unwrapping, until he saw a brown... BOOK?! Taking the wrapping off all together, he cheeks became a peachy colour as he read out, "Porcupine Love?!"

"Hahahaha! Do you like it, Gokudera? Yamamoto laughed. "You seemed to like reading Lal's book, so I got you a new copy!"

"I told you I didn't like it!" He retaliated, though mentally, he was quite happy. "But... Thanks, anyway."

Yamamoto grinned at him. "No problem!"

Reborn smiled and handed Yamamoto his present. "You're next."

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**Arigatou for reading!**


	4. Tuna with beans

**Yo.**

**A quick update yay.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own KHR or anything!**

* * *

"Yes! My turn!" Yamamoto took the present from Reborn. It was tidily wrapped in green and red striped paper, and was wrapped so tightly that it formed the shape of a baseball bat. Knowing Yamamoto, what else could it be but a baseball bat? Nevertheless...

"I wonder what this is!" He inquired. Everyone stared at him, wondering if he was being sarcastic or legitimately did not know it was a baseball bat.

"How would you not know it's-" Gokudera started, impatiently.

"A baseball bat!" Yamamoto finished, holding up the smooth wooden club, and turning it to inspect all sides. "I never would have guessed!

Gokudera facepalmed, and Tsuna smiled weakly. "Do you like it, Yamamoto?" Tsuna asked.

"Were you my secret santa? Thank you, Tsuna! Of course I like it! I can't wait to try it out some time."

"Lambo, it's your turn now. Get up!" Reborn walked over to the sleeping 5 year old and kicked him in the face.

"GYAAAA! Don't kick Lambo-san!" Lambo yelled, though stopped after Reborn shoved the present with his name on it into his hands. Without any hesitation, he ripped the wrapping off, revealing a bag of jelly beans. "GAHAHA Lambo-san loves candy! He quickly opened the package, dug his hand inside and pulled out a fist full of beans.

"Tch. Greedy kid," Gokudera muttered as Lambo shoved the jelly beans into his mouth. Then he smirked. "3, 2, 1-"

"GAAAAAH! What is this!? These aren't jelly beans! It takes like sardines and earwax and avocado and grass and liver and squid and vomit!"

Tsuna didn't want to know how Lambo knew the taste of half those things he listed.

Poor Lambo went slightly green in the face. "WAAAHH MAMAAAA!" He cried, running out the door, probably going downstairs to puke.

Gokudera laughed at him. "I got those jelly beans for him. Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, they're called. This shady guy with red hair in a cloak sold them to me for 100 yen. Told me they'd taste horrible. So I thought I would give them to the stupid cow. Serves him right for being so greedy anyway."

Tsuna thought Gokudera went a bit over the top, but the others did not seem to think like him.

"VOI! I like how you think!" Squalo shouted, grinning so that all his shiny white teeth were visible. "Hey! Is it my turn yet!?"

"It's Tsuna's turn now," Reborn said, handing the nervous boy his present.

_I wonder who this present is from, _Tsuna thought. _I h__ope it's not Reborn though, he always gives strange things._

Tsuna carefully unwrapped the gift, and was shocked to find-

"A camera!? Wow... This must have been really expensive! And its a Qanon brand! Wow!" Tsuna remarked. He opened the box the camera was in, and saw a folded piece of paper there. It was from Reborn. After reading it, his cheeks began to rise in temperature and he felt flustered.

It was now or never.

"Uh, Lal?" He started.

"Yeah?" Lal Mirch replied, looking confused, as she wasn't the one who gave him the camera.

"Can I take a photo of you?"

"What? Why me?"

"B-Because, because IwantsantatoknowexactlywhatI wantforChristmas!" He blurted out, face completely red. Then he bolted out of the room the same way Lambo did.

"Wait! Tsuna!" Lal called after him, to no avail. "He was speaking so fast, I didn't hear what he said! That stupid boy."

"Hm... We seem to keep losing people, don't we?" Reborn said nonchalantly.

"Juudaime!" Gokudera yelled, and was about to follow when Reborn stopped him.

"He'll be fine."

Hibari sighed. "If this party gets any cornier, I'm leaving."

"Can't leave now, Hibari. It's your turn." Reborn said. "Here's your present."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the room, Tsuna felt highly embarrassed, and decided to go for a walk outside the house.

Cursing Reborn, he said, "Why did he have to make me say that? I'll never be able to show my face around Lal again!"

* * *

**I also don't own Bertie Bott's. :)**

**Incase you were confused, on the note, Reborn had written down the pick-up line and told Tsuna to say it. Or else.**

**じゃまたね！**


	5. Tuna with glue

**Hello.**

**Here is the 3rd and final secret santa chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

* * *

"Hn. This better be worth it," Hibari said, eyeing the cereal box-shaped package Reborn had handed him. He neatly unwrapped it and pulled out a cardboard box labelled-

"Food For Fowl Friends?" He cocked an eyebrow.

Lal Mirch spoke up. "You seem to hang around that yellow bird a lot, Hiccup, or whatever his name is. So I got you bird feed."

Hibari did not appreciate Lal calling his beloved Hibird a word that meant 'diaphragm spasms', but he thanked her nonetheless. In his own Hibari-way that is. "Could've been worse," was his reply.

"You're welcome, Hibari," Lal said, albeit a little cross her present wasn't being as cherished as she would have liked. Then again, it was Hibari, so she shouldn't have expect much in the first place.

"it's your turn now, Lal," Reborn passed her a present twice his size, which seemed to have been hastily wrapped up.

"Wow... I didn't expect such a big present!" Lal smiled, easily opening the gift, revealing a huge cardboard box.

"Don't count your sharks before they hatch," Squalo said, smirking.

"Don't you mean chickens?" Yamamoto said.

"Stupid sharkhead," Gokudera added.

"Voi! Shut up!"

"Is this box empty?" Lal said after opening the lids of the cardboard box. She tipped it upside down and the tiniest bottle of liquid fell out.

"VOI! Careful!"

"What is this meant to be?!" She read the label on the side of the bottle. "Shampoo?! From Tokyo Lotus Hotel?! Why would I need this?

"So your hair can be as sleek and shiny as mine!" He flicked his long silver hair back to emphasise the silkiness of his hair, almost whipping Hibari's face in the process.

"Don't let your hair touch my face, or I'll bite you to death."

"VOI! WANT TO FIGHT?"

"Not now, Squalo. It's time for your present," Reborn said, though clearly amused. "Lal, why don't you check on Tsuna?"

"Uh, ok." Lal Mirch stood up, holding her small shampoo bottle, and walked out of the room.

Squalo was handed his present by Reborn. "This better be a good present or someone will die tonight." He ripped open the wrapping, and pulled out a small black wooden box with words on it saying, '_If I don't bite you to death, these might'_.

"It might be you," Hibari answered.

He opened the box, and the contents of it flew out.

They were bats.

"VOI! What are those!?" Squalo yelled, alarmed. He clearly did not expect a winged gift.

"Vampire bats," Hibari said calmly.

Squalo eyed the vampire bats cautiously as they circled him, their hunger obvious by the way they stared at him. He pulled out his sword and swung at the bats, but the bloodthirsty animals darted and dodged his attacks.

"They don't seem to be going for anyone else!" Yamamoto said, backing away.

"I've been training them," Hibari said. "Bite him to death," he commanded, which the vampire bats seem to understand. They flew closer to Squalo, making his step backwards.

After a few more attempts at slicing the bats, Squalo turned around and jumped out of the open window, shouting, "VOI! HIBARI, I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!" The bats followed after him, eager to make a meal out of his blood.

"I think I'll leave now," Hibari said after a few seconds of silence, and hopped out of the window with the bird feed in his hand.

"Ok... Well, it's your turn, Reborn. Let's just get this over and done wi-"

Gokudera was interrupted by Lambo's return. The cow kid came in muttering, "stupid bakadera..."

Reborn took the last present and opened it. Inside, he found a stick with white string-like material wrapped around it.

"Uh... What is that?" Yamamoto asked.

"Looks familiar..." Gokudera said.

"It's a Lambo stick," Lambo replied, proudly. "I put glue on my fingers and then I stri-"

He didn't get to finish his explanation because Reborn had kicked him in the face.

"Insufficient gift."

* * *

When Lal walked out of the room, she was a little worried about Tsuna. He was not in the house, so she deduced that he must have gone for a walk outside.

_Where could that stupid boy have gone?_ Lal Mirch wondered. _Maybe he's at the park._

She walked over there, and sure enough, the boy with hair that defied gravity was sitting on the swing, looking miserable.

"Tsuna."

* * *

**SOOOOOO...**

**I think next chapter will be the last. Phew.**

**Gnight. :)**


	6. Tuna with mushrooms

**Hi! Thanks to all who reviewed!**

**Here's the last chapter!**

**Disclaimer: KHR is not owned by me :O Shocking!**

* * *

"O-Oh it's you, Lal Mirch..." Tsuna blushed and looked down sheepishly as Lal took a seat on the swing next to him.

"It's... Kind of cold out here, isn't it?" She said, looking across.

"Hm? Y-Yeah... I'm fine though... Uh-uh not that you asked, I mean if you did-"

"Haha... I get it, Tsuna."

"Uh ok..."

I few moments of silence ensured.

"Oh yes... I got you something, Tsuna," Lal took out a soft, squishy package out of her pocket. (Let's just pretend she's got a huge pocket XD.) "I hope you like the colour green..."

Tsuna took the present from her hands. "O-Oh wow, Lal, uh, I-I didn't expect you to give me anything! I mean, since you're not my secret santa and all. You didn't have to!"

Lal Mirch shrugged. "It was no big deal."

Tsuna teared open the wrapping and pulled out a deep green coloured shirt out. It also had a green and white mushroom pictured on the front, with the words, '1UP' and 'extend your life' written above and beneath the picture respectively.

"Th-this is really cool! Thank you so much Lal! Reborn keeps shooting me, so I definitely need to extend my life... Haha..."

Lal smiled.

"Um, I didn't get anything for you though..." He looked at her apologetically.

"Well... then... Why don't you take me to the zoo tomorrow?" Lal replied, cheeks turning slightly pink.

"HUH? I- Of course! W-When do you want to go? I mean I know lion-feeding starts at 12 and the seal show starts at 2, or was it- AH!"

Lal Mirch hugged Tsuna to stop him from jabbering on and said, "You're so funny, Tsuna."

Tsuna's face turned red once again. "I have something to say to you, Lal."

"What is it?" she answered, eyes shining, looking expectant.

"I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away."

And then the he fainted.

_...A while later..._

"Tsuna! Oi! Wake up!"

_Who's voice is that? It sounds so familiar... _Tsuna thoughts whirred as he slowly become conscious again. _Is that Lal?_

"Tsuna! Thank goodness! Are you ok?"

"H-How long was I out for?"

"A few minutes... I was so worried!"

"You... were worried about me?" Tsuna smiled weakly.

"Of course I was! Come on, get up. Let's get you home."

Tsuna obliged; he stood up and dusted himself off. Lal Mirch took his hand, and, though, slightly surprised, he eagerly took hers. The two walked off from the park together.

It was a peaceful night, and Tsuna thought nothing could ruin this moment. But of course it wouldn't last.

"VOI! SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!"

A silver-haired figure was running towards them with two evil-looking bats in tow.

"Is that Squalo?" Tsuna said, wild-eyed.

"Yes, and something tells me we better run," Lal said, sprinting off and dragging Tsuna along.

When they had reached Tsuna's house, they stopped, slightly out of breath.

"I *huff* don't think he *huff* followed."

"Yeah."

After catching his breath, Tsuna said, "Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yes, and I look forward to it," Lal replied, turning around. "See you, tsunafish."

"Bye," Tsuna smiled, waving back. "See you tomo-WOAH!"

Lal Mirch turned around to see Tsuna sprawled on the ground. "Are you ok?"

"U-Uh yeah, I just... fell... Ow... You know what, Lal?"

"What?"

"Even if there wasn't any gravity, I'd still fall for you."

"... Shut up, Tsuna."

* * *

**AHHHHH! THE CHEESINESS! MY EYES BURN!**

**Anyway, I FINISHED! YAY. **

**さようなら, mon ami! **

**P.S To you-know-who-you-are: ****I hope this was enough green for you. :P**

* * *

**Extended Ending...?**

Back in his room, Tsuna was face with a smug-looking Reborn. Everyone else had gone home.

"I... guess I have to thank you, Reborn," Tsuna said to the mafia baby that was already in his pyjamas. "I'm going out with Lal to the zoo tomorrow."

"I know. I planned all of this," was the reply.

Although Tsuna kind of doubted that, he still smiled gratefully at him.

"Thanks, I guess. Oh, and please don't tell Gokudera I'm going. Or Lambo. Or anyone who will mess things up."

"We'll see."

"Reborn!"

"... Ha pyu pyu ha pyu pyu..."

"... Don't go to sleep when I'm talking to you!"


End file.
